Things I know about my corner office obsession…

*The following items are things I claim to “know” about my obsession. The information I have compiled in this list is what I’ve gathered from peeking in his office when he’s out and listening to his conversations, which I’m not above doing. And really, does it matter how I know? I simply want to know as much about him as I can. Is that bad?

1. He likes hunting – hence the pictures of him with a gun and dead animals hanging in his office. Normally I would hate this, so I’ll just pretend like he’s holding a flower and posing with Bambi.

2. His birthday is sometime in June…I think. I can’t always hear things in their whole story, but I really do try.

3. He gets sick, but still looks perfect and delish. I kept hearing people ask him how he was feeling and if the antibiotics (antibiotics, wha..?) were helping. He must be super human. Like the only way to take him down would be with Kryptonite. Or my come hither eyes.

4. He is married. I bet he loves his wife unconditionally and she’s the nicest woman on Earth. Bitch.

5. He has a son. He’s two years old. He is definitely the family man type. That only makes me more interested.

6. He dresses nice at work. Always very neat and coordinated. Although I hear he did dress like a 12 year old boy for the company “picnic”. But I wasn’t there to witness the travesty, so it is automatically cancelled out.

7. He has never seen Wedding Crashers. Excuse me, but who hasn’t seen Wedding Crashers? He probably doesn’t watch those kinds of movies. That would be a bummer and possible deal killer because I have a dirty mind and love Vince Vaughn.

8. He bakes cookies. Company picnic. Yes, I scoped the food list for his name. If I find out he cooks too, it’s all over for me. Cute, super human AND cooks?? The possibility alone makes me tingle in special places.

9. He’s just a nice guy. There seems to be a lot of evidence to support this theory. And there is no way I could ever be wrong.

10. I DO read into things…intentionally. That’s how I know he really has the hots for me too. I know when he says good morning that he is really thinking how much he wants to rip my clothes off!

And I check out his ass sometimes (and wonder what he looks like naked). I'm aware this doesn't really apply to the list, but I felt that was important to say.

*I reserve the right to retract or change any of these statements whenever I feel like it and do not guarantee 100% accuracy. :)